Editor's note:
Here in the insideSTL music section, we are always on the look out for a special individual to take the coveted ‘summer intern’ spot. What does it take to be an insideSTL music section summer intern? Well, so far it has included a whirlwind mix of exceptional music, a trip to SXSW, inappropriate drinking, making words into sentences, interviewing bands, groupies, using the Internet and living the dream.
This summer, we were lucky enough to strike intern gold with Alex Schreiber, otherwise known as Senor Schreiber. Mr. Schreiber will be writing with us every other Friday until he decides to go back to school. Apparently, word on the street is that some university is getting close to giving him a degree in Creative Writing. Seriously. Be sure to make him buy you a drink this Saturday at the insideSTL Girls Next Door party at Lush.
Have you noticed the demographic for indie-rock keyboardists? I have. In most of my sightings and in my researching 
(some would call it stalking but I believe it has been proven that if one wishes to stalk their destination is Facebook, not band websites) I have found that these musicians are female. Extremely attractive females. I remember the days when I wasn’t born yet, and this phenomenon was not apparent. The famous pop band, Fleetwood Mac, had Christine McVie as their sultry keyboardist, but most music connoisseurs know Stevie Nicks was the ‘hottter’ girl in the band and she did not hone any instrument except the occasional tambourine, which we all know is not a real instrument.
Until the indie-rock movement of desirable keyboardists it was more difficult to find a beautiful girl that stood behind a keyboard and not just a microphone than it is to find a penis on a fish, and I’m quite positive that neither male nor female fish have penises. I now know I will fall in love anytime I attend an indie-rock show that has a keyboardist in the band. In most occurrences, the band is made up of all men and the one girl keyboardist. At first, I thought maybe these male band mates weren’t drawing a good enough crowd to their shows so they asked Miss Beautiful to be part of the team, but that can’t be the answer.
From my experiences of pushing the black and white keys, you can’t just hop into it or be able to magically play because you’re beautiful. My first class of many that I have dropped in my college career was a piano class in which I was never able to bust out anything but the three key Jaws theme. I may just be challenged, but I like to think otherwise.
Recently I saw a show at The Bluebird, which included Gentleman Auction House, Headlights, and Mates of State. Yes, I fell in love three times that night. One of those times to a pregnant and married woman (Mates of State’s Kori Gardner is married to the only other member of the band, Jason Hammel). A few days later I attended the Mirror Stages CD release party at The Duck Room and saw yet another beautiful keyboardist jamming away with the rest of the band comprised of men.
Could the answer be that one needs delicate and slender fingers only a woman could have? Of course not. Is the keyboard marketed towards women instead of men much like the harp? Nope. Whatever the reason for this new trend is, I cannot figure it out. But I will not let it rack my brain. I will just gaze longingly from the crowd of fans in amazement at the skill and beauty of my future wives.
Do you have the answers? If you can think of any hot keyboardists, or are yourself a hot keyboardist, inform me below.