Everybody loves a giant, from Andre to Jolly Green to the guy on Brawny paper towels (is he supposed to be a giant? Whatever). No sport has more giants than the NBA, and one is was on full display this week as the Chinese national team was destroyed by the U.S. To qualify for this list, you must be at least 7’2”, which leaves out Shaq and Big Country. Did you know that Andre the Giant was not even close to being 7’4” in real life, despite what Vince McMahon led us to believe? Sorry for ruining your month if you didn’t know that already…it’s the 30-year old’s version of finding out that there is no Santa (sorry if you didn’t know that either). Onto the list:
7. Rik Smits
He had one of the biggest underdog careers ever and was very good all the way. He came from Marist College in Pennsylvania and played for the Indiana Pacers his entire pro career. He also has one of the greatest nicknames in pro sports history: The Dunkin’ Dutchman.
6. Dikembe Mutombo
He has many moments in pop sports culture: the Gold Club “Who wants to sex Mutombo?” story, the finger waving after blocked shots (including when someone rebounded it and dunked on him right afterwards, plus Jordan dunking on him and wagging his own finger), the similarities between his voice and Cookie Monster’s, his famous “laying on the floor with the ball in the air” after the Nuggets swept the Sonics in 1994, and having a nickname that compared him to a mountain. That’s quite a lot to fit in.
5. Mark Eaton
He is an American Smits: huge white guys in unbelievably white states that were very good players for a long time. What sets him apart from Smits is some of the best facial hair in sports history.
4. Manute Bol
He came in at 7 feet and six inches, but he probably only weighed what the average 5’6” guy would weigh. He was also a little bit insane, like when he started shooting three-pointers and making them or when he fought The Fridge on Celebrity Boxing.
3. Gheorghe Muresan
Anytime that Bullets highlights were on during Muresan’s career, they were a must-see,
especially when Craig Kilborn shouted “HORHAY!” Kilborn had a “Breakdown” segment of a Muresan against Big Country game back in the mid-90s which was probably the funniest thing that was ever on SportsCenter. It was impossible not to love Gheorghe. He was a fine actor too. “The Dark Knight” this past weekend passed his “My Giant” as the third-highest grossing movie of all-time.
2. Yao Ming
Did you see that the most popular basketball player in China is Kobe Bryant? And that Yao’s jersey is the just the 6th highest selling jersey in China? That’s good for society in general.
1. Shawn Bradley
How can he not be #1? His entrance at the NBA Draft when he rubbed David Stern’s head set the tone for his entire career—quite goofy. One of the greatest You Tube videos of all-time shows some of the 5-6,000 dunks that Bradley has had on him in his career. There was the classic shot that he attempted over the backboard in his second season that was impossible to comprehend, and another classic commentary line from Bill Walton after he took a jumper from about 20 feet: “Oh goodness gracious.” And he also wore #76 for awhile. He is everything that you would expect a giant white guy to be.