Tim McKernan posted on August 17, 2009 00:00
Usually, when we do bikini contests, the judges go out of their way to be polite. Now, most didn't follow in the footsteps of the late, great Mickey Carroll and give every girl a perfect 10, but in my recollection, the lowest score we had ever gotten in any one of our contests was 
Timberfake giving Bella Lynn some terrible score of 4 because she rejected his advances.
Saturday at the insideSTL.com Summerfest at Bar 101, adult film star Bree Olson made history...a few times.
Bree gave out a score of 2 to three of the six girls competing, and she also gave out a score of a 4 and a 6. She attacked one girl for "looking old" and a couple of the girls for having fake breasts.
But, Bree did take a liking to one girl...and that girl was May 2007 Girl Next Door Betty Loza. Bree gave her an 8, and our other judges scored Betty a 10 and 9.5. When those scores were combined with Betty winning the crowd noise vote, Betty won the $750 cash prize by a comfortable margin.
October 2007 GND Jacqui Jewett and Producer Joe had to fill in as judges, because we had some "unfortunate circumstances" with four of the five judges who were supposed to be in attendance.
Hope Solo elected not to show up. Amber Campisi wasn't able to show up. And, our Blues' 
representatives Cam Janssen and Ben Bishop had some stuff happen...and both were quite apologetic for not being able to make it.
So, for those of you who attended the event and wanted to see one of the above four...or all of the above four...I'm quite sorry---and quite embarrassed---that we only had one of the five judges appear.
Who would've thought the porn star was the one we'd be able to count on?
Nonetheless, the festivities were a damn good time, and we had a beautiful day at Bar 101 in Soulard.
Johnny's in Soulard provided the chicken wings for the chicken wing-eating contest, which was judged by Wendy, a well-known bartender at Johnny's. A gentleman sporting Nelly-like band-aids ate 20 chicken wings in five minutes, and he edged a gentleman sporting a tie...over a t-shirt.
We want to make sure that we thank our sponsors Red Bull, Schlafly, and Johnny's...and I want to thank Clark Bowen for shooting video of the event. We'll have that up on the website 
quite soon...and you can watch Bree Olson go Simon Cowell on our bikini contestants.
Quote of the event: One of the boyfriends of the bikini contestants walked up to Bree and criticized her bruised legs (which she said she injured the night before while performing at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club in Washington Park the night before), and said, "You're telling these girls how unattractive they are, but you got bruises all up and down your legs."
Bree's response?
"These bruises will heal, but you can't fix ugly."
Yikes.
Check out all the pictures from Summerfest RIGHT HERE.
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