posted on January 29, 2010 00:00
For the most part, front office people in baseball are borderline retarded. Letting Jim Edmonds sign a minor-league deal with the Brewers does little to change this perception.
Let's be honest- Jim Edmonds is 40 years old. He's not in the best shape of his life. And not anyone, Jim included, knows how the hell he'll do this year playing baseball. If you had to wager a buck on it- I'm thinking you'd bet it on 'SUCK'.
Cut to January 17th. On stage at a benefit for abandoned animals, Jimmy Baseball surprised just about everyone by laying the down the gauntlet... he wanted to play baseball again and he wanted to do it in St. Louis. He'd even be willing to do it for free if he could.
In a nice coincidence, the Cardinals are in the market for value bench players, especially LH hitting outfielders that can tutor a guy like Colby Rasmus.
So here we have it: Just what the Cardinals need ready to play for the least amount of money possible and a chance to go out (most likely feebly, before the end of spring training) on a good note with the city and Cardinals fans once and for all.
Let Edmonds sign with the Brewers. Suck it up for them in spring training, retire, and then have to go through the process of Cardinal fans bitching that they should sign him or that if they would have signed him, they'd be better off, while a similarly priced bench warmer gets automatically judged harsher than Edmonds ever would have if they'd had just not been a bunch of fucking mental midgets in the first place.
Guys- it's not that hard.
If Edmonds wanted multiple years or more than the veteran's minimum... fuck him. Let him go to the Brewers or anywhere else. But now all you've done is pissed people off that wanted to forget about him being a Cub or a Padre and end a pretty damn respectable career with the Cardinals and do so before you have to pay him a dime in the regular season. But nooooo... let's cause the whole thing to be another distraction in the off-season of drama.
And you know what? If he turns out to be in MLB shape- you just put egg on your face. Big time.
Again, it's not like we're banking on missing out on anything on the field. Edmonds is not the player we remember. But by denying the fans that go to Jupiter FL every year the chance to get one last pic or autograph or give him one last standing on with a Cards uniform on is just stupid business.
One step forward. One step back.
WELCOME THE NEW WAG
Bradley Penny, you dog. You're out in LA and decided to pick yourself up a little babe, eh? I hate to break it to you, but St. Louis isn't a hotbed for ballroom dancing.
It is however, ripe with pale 250lbs women that like to watch ballroom dancing on the TV, so you've got that working in your favor those first 3 starts or so.
You can see some pics of Brad's GF HERE
DISSECTION OF AN ISTL COMMENT**
For the second year in a row I attended the ISTL Girl Next Door of the Year party, this time @ Lumiere Place Casino. Personal highlights?
1) A man asking me to re-consider my vote for the 2500 dollar grand prize winner and subsequently sending over a contestant that happened to be his new girlfriend's step daughter.
2) Joshua. Skin the tone of a tangerine and dance moves more stilted than Communism.
3) For the second straight year Tim ignoring my table to the point that friends are convinced he has no idea I write for this site. I believe I was actually charged 20 dollars at the door as well- later finding out the cover was 10.
4) Corbin Bernson. His doppelganger was there and he was a murderer.
5) Slaten pretty much owning Timberfake and Hannah H. If you're going to step into the ring with somebody that made his living being nasty- you better bring it better than that.
6) Blues scoreboard chick refusing to participate in all this, but still wanting to cover it for??? Looked like a home camcorder to me.
And then there's this comment on the re-cap article this site published earlier this week...
mizzouleg3nd on the aforementioned "Joshua" performance at the InsideSTL.com GND of the Year party. All <sic'd>. My opinions in parentheses.
i hope tim doesn't try to mitigate just how embarassing this event is and teh folks involved represneted St Louis by talking about how great the 'creep' factor is, as if its all a joke. (The event was not embarrassing. In fact, it was classier than last year by a mile. In 2009 you could practically get a lap dance and a grind job for a GNDOTY vote. This year the only girl that came to our table had 3 kids and wanted to spend the money on a trip to Disney World. However, the performance by Joshua was extremely embarrassing.)
This performer is maybe the most untalented hack I have seen on stage, and why does he drive a simple car if he also has a yacht? (Valid point. Perhaps this is a chance to illustrate Joshua's real world sensibilities with the incredible earning power he selectively chooses to flaunt. Alas, he's probably just never graduated grammar school.)
Because his over-vocoded dribble is cliche ridden to the point of parody. When i first heard the song, I thought it was lame they hired a parody act to sing, then i realized it was serious. (No way this guy didn't hear Coach Mac and I laughing at him. Because you can hear it in the background in the video. Tim even had to hold back some giggles when he came back out on stage...)
tim, the girls next door, if next door is a trailer park or small town skankville Illionois, are so unappealing its time to admit this little experiment in being a cool guy has run its course. (Fairview Heights is NOT Skankville. That's Fenton. Fariview is Whoreville. Come on man.)
same goes for teh constant drivel about porn stars, the knock-of Howard stern act of having deluded locals think they are important, at their own comedic expense, or the parade of whores. (Howard Stern made 100 million dollars last year.)
But this Joshua douchebag?
that takes the cake... (Tired cliche's? Also not an 'experiment in being a cool guy')
Tim, your mini empire is crumbling under the weight of its own ignorance. (He really hasn't changed much in the past couple of years, has he?) you are talented enough to succeed without the garbage and hack crap. (Whoa!!! Let's not get carried away here!)
one more thing, any website that thinks ATH aaron hooks is talented enough to write, (Yes! A fan!) simply because he can rip of dead spin articles and curse about the cards is a website that will never surpass the importance of a drumbed up message board. (Hmm. Tough, but fair.)
** Yes, mizzouleg3d, this is a rip-off of Fire Joe Morgan. But they're not around anymore, so fuck it.
PIC of the WEEK
The one where a young man pits out when The Situation comes to town.
I get it. No, really. I do. Who the hell wouldn't get some nerves going when a star of the Jersey Shore comes literally within feet of you? I know I would. Next time, just get prepared with a good 3 to four swipes of Old Spice Red Zone (Showtime flavor) and you'll be all good my man. And if that doesn't work, they'll buy you a stick of whatever wasn't working for you.
Aaron Hooks is managing editor for CardsDiaspora.com and a Featured columnist for Bleacher Report. He writes every Friday for InsideSTL. Follow him on Twitter.