05

Dick.

That's what happened this week in Cardinal Baseball.

Absolutely dick.

Russ Springer may or may not have interest in coming back to the Cardinals and the Cardinals may or may not have an interest in Russ Springer. That's the big news story. And worse, I don't know if there is even a second place contender. Maybe Mark Lamping leading the demolition of Giants Stadium? Does that count?

Which means that big golf orgy better known as pitchers and catchers reporting is near my friends. Spring is not an unobtainable mistress anymore. She's near. And she smells like bacon.

I went to Spring Training once when I was a kid and all I got was a hurricane and an autograph from Ozzie Smith. I remember not really being that intimidated by the hurricane all that much. In fact, it was kind of fun to walk into the wind a few steps and then slide the other way on the hotels concrete floors.

But earthquakes. Man those scare the shit out of me.

Did you see that story in Slate where the fault right underneath Busch Stadium is ready to open up and swallow you and your family whole this year? Do you think Cub fans would carry the Cardinal flag in our honor when we're all dead and the franchise ruined as a touching gesture to us like some of the Haitian football players did these playoffs?

I hope not. The Cubs suck. And if we get eaten by the big one I don't want one of those bottom feeding losers to even acknolege our disappearnace. I want a group of rouge badasses to take on the Cardinal moniker and continue to shame those under-chromosoned fuck faces 18 times a year.

Forever.

Spring Training needs to get here soon.


CHECK OUT THESE SITES

Yahoo! Sports has taken the time to be awesome and publish a list of the best Cardinal Blogs on the internet.

The whole list here.

Obvioulsy the inclusion of Cards Diaspora and Joe Sports Fan discredits the list... but I swear that those other guys are fairly good reads.

Especially when Fungoes decides to get pissy on Twitter. That's always fun.

Also, since when did Matt Sebek get on his fucking high horse. He's worse than McKernan at responding to anything on that damn site.

But you know who is good
@JBoyd024. You guys should follow that guy. I hear he's got a HUGE dong. Huuuu-ge.


POST SETTING BACK WOMENS & GAY RiGHTS 250 YEARS

This weekend is the Super Bowl aka a legitimate reason to get loaded and stuff your face with trans fat other than the memory of that fat pig you rolled over on @ 8 am.

Just for the fuck of it, let's throw out a score: 34 to 24 Mannings over Kardashians.

And let's also read this post about just how your Super Bowl spread couldn't be any gayer if Clay Aiken was bending over-

How Manly is you Super Bowl Spread?

Also, in case you are wondering, Yes-
there is a Tiger Woods Condom!


SUPRISING ADDITION to TWITTER

Matt Holliday is on Twitter? According to BJ Rains
@MattHolliday is the real Matt Holliday. And he's really Tweeting about the following:

+ His love for Creed

+ Texas Tech Basketball

+ Defending Creed and then vowing never to admit he listens to Creed even again.

For 100 million dollars he better post some neeked Twitpics of his wife or something better than Creed lyrics. Come on Matt.


PIC of the WEEK

The one where the photobomber longs to be accepted...


Side Bar can be a cruel, cruel place. If you're lucking to chum it up when you walk in that front door, pal, you best just keep walking right out the back. Because Side Bar is where the cool kids go. And you ain't cool.

Pretty soon you'll encounter the ISTL photog and end up deciding to half-ass photobomb a group of super hot and cool chicks... then CLICK! Your longing for companionship is forever captured in time.

Keep smiling, young lady-
someday you're going to make it after all.


Aaron Hooks is managing editor for
CardsDiaspora.com and a Featured columnist for Bleacher Report. He writes every Friday for InsideSTL. Follow him on Twitter

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B. Kollack
# B. Kollack
Saturday, February 06, 2010 9:16 AM
You're not good at writing...or at life for that matter.
flatlander
# flatlander
Saturday, February 06, 2010 6:29 PM
Please tell Tim is not paying for this content. It's trash. Absolute trash. This columnist would be best served whipping out witty one liners in the youtube comments section.
L D
# L D
Monday, February 08, 2010 9:44 PM
I actually thoroughly enjoyed it, extremely witty and the opposite of bland. Keep up the good work,

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