Did Goodman take the boys out daily for lunch at Lotawata Creek?

Was Holliday’s boozy advances the reason Lohan’s SCRAM anklet was activated?

Are the bullpen guys still bedside with Mrs. Larry King, comforting her when dad can’t be by?

There has to be a rational reason the Cardinals went out to LA, unbuckled their elastic belts, yanked down their sliding pants and took a big, steaming shit all over Chavez Ravine. Right?

Oh, wait. That’s what this offense does most nights. Takes their contracts, sees you out there watching in TV land and gives you a big Nonny Nonny Nah Nah in the form of free swinging at bats and putrid run outputs. You’ve been working all day for a hundred bucks? Well FUCK YOU Joe 6-Pack. I just made more adjusting my jock than you will all year… have a strikeout to suck on!

Guys, you’re professional athletes. You get paid (well) to hit a ball with a stick. It’s a good life; a life we all wish we had. It’d be nice if you didn’t look like you were re-enacting the gulf oil spill via interpretive baseball, Ok?

I’ve been saying all season that this 2010 Cardinals team is as listless as they come for a team with Championship expectations. Nobody really seems to give two shakes about the guy to the left or right of them.

Brendan Ryan needs a pick-me-up? Let’s stonewall him in the press.

Right now it’s a bunch of guys collecting a (good) paycheck to play ball. Bad nights are a part of the game. Good nights are nothing to build on. Ho-hum. Let’s do it again tomorrow and if it sucks, oh well and if it doesn’t, then fine.

I blame Albert Pujols.

I don’t know the man. But he is without a doubt the guy that this team defers to and follows without question. And while his stats alone will soon make him one of the highest paid players in MLB history- being a leader is more than going out and producing off the field. It’s making sure that everyone knows they’re a part of a ‘team’. That what they’re doing is for the greater good.

This is the time where Pujols is needed the most, yet he’s been going about his business as usual.

We’re getting to the point where just grinding it out every week with a workman-ish fervor is not going to be enough to win the NL Central. I hate to admit it- but the Reds don’t seem to be waning as much as I would have thought or hoped by June 11.

That means that the team leader has to be a real team leader. In my opinion, Pujols hasn’t shown that level of ‘these are my guys in the foxhole, I’d do anything for them’ type of performances and/or comments to the media.


I don’t know. Perhaps he doesn’t like this team. Maybe he’s more salty about the Holliday contract than we thought. I suppose he just never had to face a team as the veteran leader and tell other guys both younger and older that they need to get their shit together. But one look at Holliday’s swings from Wednesday night’s game and it’s clear that somebody has to get his ass in line.

That’s Pujols job. Like it or not. TLR’s got no power left after he signed that contract. #5 has to be the one to let him know he’s being a real freaking drain on the offense by not taking walks and trying to hit balls out of the atmosphere.

The Cardinals aren’t in deep trouble.


But as opposed to two weeks ago, when we all basically thought it was only a matter of time before the playoffs started, I’m beginning to wonder what this team really is.

The answers are coming.

athooks is
on Twitter HERE and on CardsDiaspora.com HER

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