posted on August 15, 2013 16:33
I am the Mother of a daughter who will not know me.
I am the Mother of another child who likely never had the privilege of even experiencing life.
I was no different than many of my 26-year old peers. Over 8-years ago, I had casual sex with a coworker. As a result, I ended up pregnant.
These are things that happen in life. It doesn’t make me a whore and it doesn’t make me any less of a woman than many of the rest of you out there.
The coworker I slept with denied paternity. I knew it was his but he denied accountability. With weeks left until the birth, I arranged to meet with him and discuss our path forward, in relation to an innocent, unborn child.
We met at the Hillsboro Civic Center in the comforting light of day.
Your claim is that you left me there after meeting, in sound condition, and that it was the last you saw of me…but nobody has seen me since.
My bank cards have had zero activity and there is no record of my child ever being born.
There is an outside chance that I disappeared on my own accord and that I’m alive and well today. It is HIGHLY unlikely.
Many leads and speculation have pointed in your direction.
It takes an especially horrible hunk of human shit to take the life of a young woman in the prime of her life and to rob a child of their Mother, loving parents of their child and family and friends of somebody they love, especially with selfishness seemingly being the only motive, not that any motive can explain such things away.
It takes an unexplainably evil person to also take an unborn child and rob them of the opportunity to ever be any of the above.
If you did this to me, you can go fuck yourself.
You can fuck yourself right out the door and you can lay your awful head on a pillow and know what you have done.
You can drink with your friends, you can smile and you can think that you got away with something.
And when those same friends aren’t there, late at night and undoubtedly fighting with the demons you’ve created, you can be haunted by what you know you did…and you know you are.
It’s not as bad as stealing the life of another, but living with the fact that you did so has got to be an unimaginable horror for anyone except for the truly sociopathic.
Whoever you are, you know you live with this.
You harmed a young woman, and worse, you harmed her unborn child.
Time goes by and flowers mark the site of my disappearance.
People forget my name and they forget my story.
This is a small town. These things don’t happen and it’s much more comforting to our fucking simple lives if we simply dismiss that they ever did.
The police work is done and it appears I’ll remain a mystery.
I wish I was sunning in the Caribbean, having pulled off an elaborate escape from a life that perhaps I didn’t want, but we all know that this is not the likelihood.
National media has long moved on, having never really put too awfully much time into my cause, as Hillsboro, Missouri is not exactly New York City and in the eye of the “common” beholder, perhaps I didn’t fit the mold of “beauty queen” that drives such a story.
You quit looking for me, which may honestly be the most sensible thing to do. But have you also quit looking for what happened to me?
Twenty-six year old women with a loving child at home and another on the way in very short order do not up and disappear.
Freak odds may have put somebody else behind my disappearance and I could’ve been the victim of some random killer who tromps through towns doing such things.
Is that unlikely…I think so.
The level of detail it would take to make me simply disappear and the lack of tangible evidence to connect anybody to it suggest a somewhat sophisticated plan of attack, or at least some thought to the aftermath.
You will likely never see me again.
People like me are often forgotten by the “masses”, if you will, but hopefully my story is not.
Eight years ago, I disappeared in the small town of Hillsboro, Missouri. One of you out there knows something.
Have some balls and admit it.
My name is Amanda Jones. You walk amongst somebody who has done something very bad to me. What will you do about it?
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