A work buddy and I were talking about possible topics for this column when he brought up what I thought was a good one: 

Why do women love ballplayers?

A little background on my friend…he played college ball – he was a pitcher – with a guy named David Freese. Perhaps you’ve heard of him. Since he and I are both rabid baseball fans and sit adjacent to one another, we often shoot the shit, argue about trades and signings, analyze ballplayers’ bodies of work and Hall of Fame worthiness, et cetera. We often disagree. 

For example, I recently identified the mercurial Manny Ramirez, signed out of retirement by Oakland in the midst of a PED suspension and a player I never cared much for personally, as one of the best hitters in the history of the game. He disagreed, even th
ough I pretty much clobbered him with indisputable evidence. (19 seasons of .312/39/129...are you kidding me?) 

But he occasionally brings the kind of insight only a guy good enough to play at a collegiate level alongside a future World Series and NLCS MVP can bring. It’s the unequivocal difference between one who has learned something academically and one who has learned it experientially. I’d like to believe I represent a balance of both, but the nuances of the game, the lifestyle of a ballplayer...even at the relatively low level he survived, I never reached such heights.

Having neither his nor Freese’s permission to expound, all I will say of my friend’s tales of Wild Turkey and pot-infused glory is that they never fail to entertain. Still, when Freese is on national television generically mentioning some of the less sensible decisions he made prior to enjoying big league success, I can only assume there is an overlapping of events.

And I can’t help but envy a scenario where hot, horny college girls pay you homage simply because you are a ballplayer.  

They called them “cleat chasers”.

This got me thinking about David Freese’s recent social ascent…the Country Music Awards with Erin Andrews, appearances on talk shows, Alive Magazine cover shots…and perhaps my favorite, subject of The Onion’s “David Freese Swarmed In Saint Louis By Hordes Of Swooning, Average-Looking Women”.

There is naturally an oversimplified assumption that women like ballplayers because they are fit and financially well-off. Of course they do. But this doesn’t give the vast majority of women – namely, those who are not sluts with daddy issues requiring influential dick to curb their insecurities – the credit they deserve.

Whether men and women realize it or not, the underlying and supremely-attractive trait demonstrated by ballplayers is focus.

Sure, it helps to be a chiseled specimen of physical fitness. Most women do like muscles. But focus, and the draw it receives, are not exclusive to professional athletes or to those who have achieved celebrity status.

A man’s ability to focus helps satisfy one of women's most primitive prerequisites: mental stability. For purposes related to both her and her potential offspring’s survival, she desires a man who can hone in on the task at hand at a moment’s notice; one who is in control of himself, but who also commands a certain level of power over the world around himself.

Modern society obviously requires this be translated a billion different ways by a billion different women, but whether a woman’s gaze has become fixed upon a slick-fielding, power-hitting ballplayer, an edgy, hipster guitar prodigy, a deft-handed auto mechanic, a dutiful father showering a child with the attention it deserves, or the village’s most successful hunter making it rain sweet meats and the warmest of pelts, focus, and its assumed byproduct results, turns women on.

When she tunes in to a Cardinals game – especially one deemed “important” by the masses, further validating the players involved – she sees men engaged completely in their craft. She sees Wainwright glaring at the strike zone and Carpenter scowling at an opposing, two-bit Brewers outfielder (Ahhhhhhhhh). She sees Molina maliciously scanning for baserunners from behind his mask. She sees Freese going oppo in Game 6 for extra bases and capping it off with possibly the coolest fucking pose in the history of the triple…and then she sees him deposit a home run onto the Busch III centerfield grass for arguably the most exhilarating win in Major League Baseball history.

This corner of baseball reverence will also miss watching Colby Rasmus dig in with a vengeance... 

Guess somebody lost a bat in the cave. 

The dynamic distinguishing the professional athlete from the layman is really just the illusion created by media coverage. We view athletes and celebrities for the time allotted and from the lense of public perception as they perform at the highest level. It's not until Britney exposes her unruly muff or Scott Spiezio singes his soul patch on the crack pipe that we realize these individuals have problems just like us. 

It remains their ability to focus, and sometimes refocus, that continues to attract us to them. Talent is prevalent, no doubt. But without focus, talent is nothing. 

The caveat is that focusing on shit that sucks, or that is useless and offers zero peripheral benefit to society does not count.

Halo does not count. Your six fantasy leagues? Also do not count. 

What counts are the activities that give your life meaning. Acts that bring you to that elusive state of focus, not to be confused with numbness…acts that produce, or at least have the potential to produce positive results of some kind.

Ultimately, we're talking about the kinds of activities that bring about genuine happiness and personal growth. 

I’m not knocking your Xbox obsession. It’s just that it's really hard to find – and keep – a quality woman if your ass never leaves the bean-bag chair.     

Focus is the reason women get all hot and bothered about guys like David Freese. Especially guys like Freese. Guys who have fought through adversity in order to accomplish something significant. What women love watching us do most are usually the things we love doing the most.

Again, presuming those things have purpose.  

In fact, generally speaking, women are predisposed to nurture and assist us as we do those very things.

And if you catch one that doesn’t, throw her back like Cubs fans will be Freese’s longballs this year at Wrigley.


J. Adams is a certified personal trainer and student of life. Read up on Health & Fitness, Sex & Women and local businesses weekly
 here in the Man Hole. Follow him on Twitter via

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DJ Gelner
# DJ Gelner
Monday, March 19, 2012 10:15 AM
Great article, Justin. Excellent message. Another way to put it: provide and demonstrate value to others (family, friends, colleagues, etc.) and society at large and you shall reap the rewards. As much as I enjoy firing up the old X-Box from time to time, it's the mantra that always gets me back on track.
Denitio del Toro
# Denitio del Toro
Tuesday, March 20, 2012 3:01 PM
You coulda shortened this article . . Why do women love ballplayers (athletes)

Simply . . Fame & Fortune.

The thought of banging a 3rd baseman to become Mrs. 3rd baseman, and the possibility of never working again, attracts them more than them going to opposite field. Or maybe having a bastard kid with said 3rd baseman, and hoping that the child support per month is enough* to support that kid, hell to support the whole nation of Ghana

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