While most people are getting rid of their old VHS tapes, I’m the idiot who keeps buying them—at yard sales.

In the last few weeks, I’ve purchased almost 10 movies on VHS, including three All in the Family tapes (I mean, how can you pass up Archie Bunker, Dingbat, Meathead and the Little Goil?), Pauly Shore’s “In the Army Now” and Jericho (No relation to the Ayatollah of Rock n’ Rolla).

This week, I went to about three or four subdivision sales. By the time I got to the last couple, I was exhausted and resorted to just driving past the houses that didn’t look like they had anything because I didn’t want to drag my lazy ass out of the car. Which, ironically, lends itself to one of the obligatory yard sale finds that’s a must-buy—a Richard Simmons VHS.

Now, it wasn’t Sweatin’ to the Oldies, but it was damn close—some might say better. It was…Disco Sweat. Obviously, I’m never going to use the tape for anything more than entertainment, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Even the lady who sold the tape said she would sit and watch it just to laugh at its ridiculousness.

Another gem that you see at just about every sale is the two-VHS tape version of Titanic. I didn’t pick it up, but there were at least two houses that were trying to get rid of it.

In addition to stocking up on outdated VHS tapes, I’m also expanding my book collection. Despite the fact that I have no time to read, every time I yard sale I seem to come back with about half a dozen books I most likely will never read. But they’re cheap. What can I say? None of the books would be all that exciting to anyone else, but the best find (for a grammar Nazi) was Eats Shoots & Leaves, a book I’ve been putting off purchasing since high school. But it was only 50 cents. I had to buy it.

Overall, I walked away with: Three books, five VHS tapes, four ridiculously tacky Christmas ornaments, a “Chip” from Beauty & the Beast teacup (probably my most unnecessary purchase. But I couldn’t resist.) and a nativity Scene. Total Cost? $10.85.

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