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This week’s new releases are a real Sophie’s Choice for critics.  The screenings for both films were on the same night.  So, I had to decide: Do I want to watch 3 Days to Kill, the latest film from Luc Besson with Kevin Costner; or Pompeii, from the director of Mortal Kombat?  Well, I went with 3 Days to Kill, directed by McG.  After twelve minutes, I started thinking Pompeii would have been a better choice, but it appears both movies are crap.

3 Days to Kill opens with a quick background session with the CIA and Vivi (Amber Heard).  They tell her that a known bad guy mastermind, the Wolf, will possibly be where another bad guy, the Albino, is selling a dirty bomb.  She asks who is on the ground in the field.  The answer: Ethan Renner (Costner).  The mission goes awry, but we get that Ethan is a badass and absent father and husband.  He is then diagnosed with some form of terminal cancer.  So, he moves back to his shitty apartment in Paris where he tries to reconnect with his estranged daughter Zoey (Hailee Steinfeld) and wife Tina (Connie Nielsen).  He promises his wife that he is out of the business, and she grants him time with their daughter before his three to five months of life are over.

Of course, he is confronted by Vivi, and blackmailed into going after the Albino (Tomas Lemarquis) and the Wolf (Richard Sammel).  Vivi believes that Ethan is the only one to know what the elusive terrorist looks like, therefore, he…..

You know what?  Who cares?  3 Days to Kill is shit.  There is nothing redeeming about this hunk of crap.  They didn’t try hard making this film.  Why should I try hard to write a review of it?

Here is a list of things I could have been doing, or would have preferred doing:

  • Watching Womens Figure Skating
  • Testing all the 9V batteries in my house
  • Picking up all the dog shit in my backyard

 
You get the idea.

3 Days to Kill only succeeds in killing two hours of your life, in a very painful way.  Pass

Rating: 0/10

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Anonymous User
# Anonymous User
Thursday, April 10, 2014 2:33 PM
Review: Draft Day

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