Adam Collins posted on February 10, 2012 07:15
The Vow is NOT a Nicholas Sparks book. It may look like one, but it is not. I have never seen a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, but I have had the displeasure of reading one of his hunk of romantic garbage. The Vow is inspired by true events, according to the opening and closing credits.
The Vow centers on married couple Leo (Channing Tatum) and Paige (Rachel McAdams) Collins (stupid last name). They are in a serious car crash leaving Paige with amnesia. She does not remember being married to Leo. Her last memory is over five 
years old. Now, Leo must try to make his wife fall back in love with him, while her family tries to get her back. Something happened five years ago that separated Paige from her rich parents Bill (Sam Neill) and Rita (Jessica Lange). Her ex-fiancée Jeremy (Scott Speedman) also tries to take advantage of her memory loss and rekindle their relationship.
So, it seems like a good enough plot. Right? Not even close. The whole premise is based on you caring about this couple and this tragic accident that they are in. Sorry, but Paige did it to herself (not that I will give away how). They are rear-ended by a salt truck when it can’t stop on the ice. That is a hilarious use of irony. Not to mention, it is a huge plot line that is not followed. What happened to the driver of that vehicle? Why isn’t he arrested and held accountable for his crime? That might have been a better story to pursue.
So, now that she is back in her “normal routine,” Paige wakes up and enters the kitchen of their apartment. When she does, she is wearing a Cubs sweatshirt. This only reinforces that she got what she deserved. As the movie progresses, you are supposed to feel bad for them. Sadly, Channing Tatum is a terrible actor. If they had cast someone who could evoke any emotion, I might have cared. The only entertaining sequence in this film is the “first date.”
The Vow takes place in Chicago. Early on, Leo and Paige are downtown at Millennium Park under “the bean.” At this point, all I wanted to do was get up, leave the theater, and drive to Chicago. I love Chicago.
Then, there is the voiceover. There is a reason why many films avoid voiceovers. Voiceovers are a tricky gimmick to use properly. When done right (The Informant, Fight Club), it can make the movie even better. When done wrong, you get this. Leo narrates randomly and spouts stupid lines about “moments of impact.” I am sure that at some point in the script writing process, the “moments of impact” idea was more prevalent. Sadly, the finished product did not have it.
I did not care for this film at all. The characters are not likable, the writing is bad, and the directing is uninspired. Michael Sucsy made his directorial debut with The Vow, and for some reason, he kept using slo-mo at odd times. I am not sure why he slowed down a hug between Paige and Bill. It was nothing critical to the story. I thought of two different endings which would have been better than the one in the film. The first: Leo and Paige make love, and her memory comes back right then. Think, Sleeping Beauty, only instead of a kiss… Just like the perverted book The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (try to read the whole trilogy, I didn’t make it through the first book). The second: Paige gets her memory back, and while she and Leo are driving back to their apartment, they are hit again; leaving Leo without his memory. Suck it Cubs fans!
In the end, I was left wondering what was worse: The Vow or Cupcake Bites that I bought for $1. They were so bad that I could not even stomach eating the whole box, or more than five pieces for that matter. Tough choice.
RATING: 2/10
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