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If you’re actually reading this and not the 9,433rd-column of Super Bowl coverage on the Friday before the big game, those noises that you’re hearing … … … are crickets, but thanks for being here.

I offer my advice and judgment with nary a hint of remorse, but rarely is it solicited unless it’s on the overwrought usage of obscure pop culture references or can be solved with the “F-word”. Today I am offering some and it is these three words…Suck my__________

Okay, just kidding, but you all KNOW I have to use my crutch of profanity (just ask around) to rope in small-minded readers, so I had to get that in, lest things get too serious.

Those 3-words are simply “GO – FOR – IT”.

As a lot of my columns are conceived, this started with a simple statement on my Facebook page (yep, I’m that guy) and germinated in my frightening head until it would become 700 – 1,000 words of unorganized thoughts and ramblings.

“GO – FOR – IT” sounds so simple, seems so complicated, but really is – so simple. Along with hemorrhoids and finding myself paying slightly more attention to commercials about low testosterone, with age also comes wisdom and a bit of “aaaaaaahhh”, skies-opening type clarity.

I honestly believe that, aside from obvious talent in a lot of areas, the only difference between those that will be successful in fields of everything from small business to absolute fame and stardom in the avenues of sport, music and film is ONE important personality trait that they possess, which the rest of us seem to lack, and that is the willingness to take a chance and, thereby, fail…or “GO – FOR – IT”.

I have, and do, know A LOT of talented people in many different areas, many of which I consider more talented than those who are regularly shoved down our throat on TV’s, magazine covers and the interwebs.

But, as much as I adore these people, they just don’t have that “it” of saying “fuck everything” and seeing where their quest for greatness just might take them. I’m sure it’s a bit egotistical, not that I’ve been stopped by that before, but I’d throw myself into that barrel in a couple of different categories.

The difference between an awful, overrated hack like Ashton Kutcher being able to go from Butt-ass, Iowa to the riches, limelight and inner thighs of Mila Kunis that Hollywood would offer and a buddy of mine that can “slappa’ da’ bass” better than 75%-of those out there making millions at it, is that Kutcher “went for it”…AND has the smooth backside of a baby with the chiseled cheek structure of a statue, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’ve loved writing since I was a child, with highly debatable degrees of success or talent, and was actually published at a young age. I was continually praised throughout my schooling and evolved from writing for fun and humor to writing for romance, a quest to get laid and, ultimately, depression and the therapy this shit gave me in dealing with it (judge away).

Despite my love for the pen and pad and the encouragement that I received from my supporters, both teachers and peers, I somehow just never looked upon it as a true option when we came to that time in life where we were supposed to choose a career path, if you will.

While it’s true that I’m probably better off financially as a result of that choice, there’s always that emotional cavity that wonders “what if” that we all seem to have in there about

something, or even someone, that we didn’t have that set of hairy danglers to just pull the trigger on and “GO – FOR – IT”.
The lack of this characteristic in the REST OF US is the very reason we have that bitter chip on our shoulders against THE OTHERS. It’s the reason I trash these actors, comedians and musicians that, while many are untalented (see, did it again), are out there doing it. They had the balls or steel vagina (you’re welcome ladies) that I didn’t have and they’re successful because of it. Meanwhile, I’m here writing gibberish for a local website.

That’s just the thing though. Regardless of what some think, say or write about my little column, for the first time in my life, I do feel like I finally “went for it”, put it out there and was rewarded as a result. I’m certain I don’t have a giant following and I can assure you that I’m not getting rich, but just the fact that I’m getting paid to do something that I love, along with the freedom to do it how I love it, brings a warm little fuzzy to this cold heart of mine.

This pisses some off and that somewhat validates that I’m good at it anyway. Like I said, whether it’s my regular lambasting of celebrities and athletes, your “Facebook envy” of the possessions and successes of old friends or message board trolling of the work that myself and others do, it’s all the same underlying bug in our collective craw.

They/we/you are doing it and they/we/you are not…and this pisses they/we/you off. But it also tells they/we/you that, despite what’s said, made fun of or bitched about, they/we/you ARE paying attention.

Get off of your ass, out of your state or even just out of your mother’s basement (go-to insult), but if there’s something you want to do, “GO – FOR – IT”.

Whether it’s as high-reaching as super modeling and acting or as simple as LARP-ing or taking that chance of opening your own photography studio (you go, Tara) in your hometown, take a fucking chance, my KMFP-eople. And, if you do “make it”, tell them it’s because I told you to (narcissistic plug).

If there’s 14”-of fight in your furry little body, you pull through “Hedgehog”…KMFP-out!

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