04

The “Big Game” started out in blowout fashion but ended up going right down to the proverbial wire, ending in a bit of controversy, of course, and right on the doorstep of the largest comeback in Super Bowl history…and I couldn’t give 2-shits less.

Millions of Americans got to stuff their gullets across this great country, while families in Ohio and Georgia still had two dead sons, fathers and siblings.

The nation spent 40-minutes bitching about the lights being out in the same building that once housed thousands of hurricane refugees who spent days shitting in the goddamned hallways, without power, water or assistance.

Whiny bunch aren’t we?

Anyway, with the bulk of your time chasing game recaps today, I won’t keep you long and simply penned some KMFP-oetry for your reading enjoyment on this fine Monday morning.

To the tune of “Favorite Things”, I now give you:

“Super Bowl Rings”

Big Ben and Pittsburgh won two in four seasons

Avoiding jail time for several reasons

Despite allegations of sexual “things"

Here is a douche bag with Super Bowl rings


Brett Favre was worshipped for toughness and winning

Enthralling “Cheese-heads” right from the beginning

Then he sent pics of his shriveled, old wang

Another douche with a Super Bowl ring


Irvin wears jewelry on three of his digits

A cokehead, assaulter and character midget

Even drug charges and trouble that brings

Can’t take away his three Super Bowl rings


Snort the cocaine, rape a coed

Do shit that’s really bad

Just flash the public your Super Bowl rings

And then they won’t feel so sad


Plaxico Burress did two years in the brig

Because this dumbass shot his own goddamned leg

Got released and signed with another team

Likely because of his Super Bowl ring


Defensive end, Leonard Little drove shit-faced

Now there’s a wife and mom who can’t be replaced

Later arrested again drunk driving

Slapped on the hand of his Super Bowl ring


Like Roethlisberger, Ray now has two titles

While two other dead men miss children’s recitals

Witness accounts and lost blood-soaked clothing

Are just no match for the Super Bowl Ring


When the drunk drives, when the knife stings

When twelve kids call you “Dad”

Simply show Berman those Super Bowl rings

And then we won’t feel…so…bad…


Oh well, at least nobody got killed and 106-women weren’t receiving the unprotected seed of a possible illegitimate child for about 4-hours on a Sunday night, which was nice.

No word on whether or not ESPN is championing O.J. Simpson’s parole so he may come out of retirement and they can milk his quest for a Super Bowl ring next.

One last thing - if, as Ray-Ray keeps telling us, this really is "God's will" and apparently where Jesus' allegiance truly lies, that's just another reason to continue my boycott of his house.

Fuck Ray Lewis…KMFP-out!


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