posted on February 04, 2013 00:00
The “Big Game” started out in blowout fashion but ended up going right down to the proverbial wire, ending in a bit of controversy, of course, and right on the doorstep of the largest comeback in Super Bowl history…and I couldn’t give 2-shits less.
Millions of Americans got to stuff their gullets across this great country, while families in Ohio and Georgia still had two dead sons, fathers and siblings.
The nation spent 40-minutes bitching about the lights being out in the same building that once housed thousands of hurricane refugees who spent days shitting in the goddamned hallways, without power, water or assistance.
Whiny bunch aren’t we?
Anyway, with the bulk of your time chasing game recaps today, I won’t keep you long and simply penned some KMFP-oetry for your reading enjoyment on this fine Monday morning.
To the tune of “Favorite Things”, I now give you:
“Super Bowl Rings”
Big Ben and Pittsburgh won two in four seasons
Avoiding jail time for several reasons
Despite allegations of sexual “things"
Here is a douche bag with Super Bowl rings
Brett Favre was worshipped for toughness and winning
Enthralling “Cheese-heads” right from the beginning
Then he sent pics of his shriveled, old wang
Another douche with a Super Bowl ring
Irvin wears jewelry on three of his digits
A cokehead, assaulter and character midget
Even drug charges and trouble that brings
Can’t take away his three Super Bowl rings
Snort the cocaine, rape a coed
Do shit that’s really bad
Just flash the public your Super Bowl rings
And then they won’t feel so sad
Plaxico Burress did two years in the brig
Because this dumbass shot his own goddamned leg
Got released and signed with another team
Likely because of his Super Bowl ring
Defensive end, Leonard Little drove shit-faced
Now there’s a wife and mom who can’t be replaced
Later arrested again drunk driving
Slapped on the hand of his Super Bowl ring
Like Roethlisberger, Ray now has two titles
While two other dead men miss children’s recitals
Witness accounts and lost blood-soaked clothing
Are just no match for the Super Bowl Ring
When the drunk drives, when the knife stings
When twelve kids call you “Dad”
Simply show Berman those Super Bowl rings
And then we won’t feel…so…bad…
Oh well, at least nobody got killed and 106-women weren’t receiving the unprotected seed of a possible illegitimate child for about 4-hours on a Sunday night, which was nice.
No word on whether or not ESPN is championing O.J. Simpson’s parole so he may come out of retirement and they can milk his quest for a Super Bowl ring next.
One last thing - if, as Ray-Ray keeps telling us, this really is "God's will" and apparently where Jesus' allegiance truly lies, that's just another reason to continue my boycott of his house.
Fuck Ray Lewis…KMFP-out!
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