04

Here we are NHL. January 4th 2013. 625 games lost. You’ve lost the one game your diehard fans actually cared about in the Winter Classic and lost the one game that is akin to a bunch of grown men playing waffle ball in St. Peters on a Thursday night in the All-Star Game.

I know nothing about labor disputes and I won’t pretend that I am an expert. I have a hard enough time figuring out why my fiancée likes the show Glee. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This dispute should have never made it to this point. Both sides knew there was a deadline 111 days ago and instead of doing the smart thing and heading it off at the pass, you guys did what I used to do in high school when I had a huge deadline.

Wait until the last minute to cram.

I’m sorry gentlemen, but our parents and teachers were right. When you procrastinate, you get horrible results. At least I did. And seeing that there still isn’t a season, I’d say you guys didn’t fare much better than I did. Instead of having your little postseason awards ceremony with celebrities that no one really cared about (with the exception of Will Arnett, who did a spot on impression of Brendan Shanahan) you should have been negotiating for a new deal the minute the Los Angeles Kings stepped off the ice with the Stanley Cup.

Instead, it’s been nothing but a “who’s appendage is bigger?” contest between Donald Fehr and Gary Bettman. In all honesty, if you put both of theirs together, you’d be lucky if you got a coffee stirrer. These negotiations have been an absolute joke. The Republicans and Democrats were able to hammer out a deal to avoid the fiscal cliff yet the NHL still can’t get their heads out of the sand long enough to figure out that while they play grabass with each other, their fan base is growing restless.

There was a report last night that the NHLPA has prepared players for another vote to reauthorize the executive board the right to disclaim interest. I have no clue what this means and I really don’t care. From what I understand, it has something to do with dissolving the union which only brings on more legal crap that I don’t understand. Hockey is already difficult enough to understand for the casual fan already without throwing the judicial process at them.

I have heard other sources say that the players believe the lockout is close to being over. I don’t believe anything until I actually hear that it’s over. I fell for this “almost over” nonsense a month ago when Donald Fehr thought he had the NHL owners in his pocket like dollar bills being used at a strip club. When I hear an announcement that the season is going to start up, then I’ll play ball. But in the words of Winston Wolf, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.

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