It's hard to say no to pretty girls.

Like when it's last night and you're horrendously out of shape and a girl asks to go 'run a few miles in Forest Park', that'd be an instance where if it was you asking, I'd slap your face. But a pretty girl asks and suddenly I'm fucking Prefontaine.

True story, back when I was a drunker drunk I met a marathon runner. She had the social grace of Jordan Van Der Sloot times infinity, but the body of Miranda Kerr... so my genius plan was to act as if I was ALSO a marathon runner. Pretty fucking slick, right?

All was good until she told me that she couldn't even so much as make out without working out with a guy first. What? Ok. Fuck it. So this chick meets me at my house in Clayton and roughly 8 miles later I had stopped sweating I was sweating so much and my heart was about 4 steps away from completely exploding when she confronted me:

"You don't run marathons, do you?"

Ummmm not recently.

"You lied to me, huh?"

I was trying to act cute and innocent, but she continued on her way. An hour later I was getting dropped off in front of my house, literally exhausted. Her last words? "Sucks to be you!".

I couldn't point this broad out of a line-up as we sit here, but the axiom is still true... guys will do almost anything if they think they've even got a .001% change of getting laid. For some reason, twice now, I've decided that exhausting myself through distance running is the best way to go about hooking up.

At least my stupidity has some benefits?

The pretty girl, did pose an interesting question, though. She asked me if I thought diarrhea would be a pretty name for a girl if I had no concept of what diarrhea was.

I could see that. But, being Thursday night, I was also looking for a story angle for this space. And I wondered about the Cardinals 2010 season.

If we didn't know this team before April, would we be impressed by what they were doing? Or would we still think that they had only recently reached their potential?

For the first week I can recall, the Cardinals bats have finally shown life. Matt Holliday is currently in 7 game hitting streak. Pujols' power seems to be returning. Hell, Brendan Ryan is actually getting on base (as opposed to winging balls over them). It's even worked them back into first place in the NL Central.

And while viewed in a vortex, the Cardinals seem to be performing admirably in 2010, we have the prior knowledge that is tainting an otherwise very good team. I don't know what exactly we expected, but nearly 10 games over .500 by June just isn't good enough for me, and probably you, and I can't say that's a healthy way to be a fan. Shit, I think a Royal or Oriole fan would jerk off to 10 games over .500 past May.

Maybe it's time we stopped being so wrapped up in the potential of what could be and start warming up the fact that we've got a damn good team on our hands that's going to get it together and pull away from the Reds sooner or later. That this team is built to win in October and that October is many, many pool parties away from right now.

Kind of like that pretty girl, keeping your cool usually pans out much, much better than trying to impress. Save that shit for later when you've got her undivided attention.

Sound like any team we know?

athooks is managing editor for
CardsDiaspora.com. He writes every Friday for InsideSTL. Follow him on Twitter.

SHARE: E-mail | Permalink | Comments (4)| RSS comment feed | | |

Charlie Mackenzie
# Charlie Mackenzie
Friday, June 04, 2010 5:23 PM
WTF was that?
AT Hooks
# AT Hooks
Friday, June 04, 2010 7:44 PM
# Jerky
Saturday, June 05, 2010 9:14 AM
Took you a while to get to the point. But I like the correllation. Good job
# Jedi55
Sunday, June 06, 2010 6:00 AM
"...roughly 8 miles later I had stopped sweating I was sweating so much..."


Post Comment

Only registered users may post comments.