posted on June 15, 2012 12:11
I really don’t know what to write…but that’s never stopped me before – or Bryan Burwell for that matter. The Cardinals actually won a series against a formidable opponent, scored more than twice and somebody other than Lance Lynn or Carlos Beltran led them on the mound and at the plate. Will we look back at Lynn’s 1-0 gem on Wednesday as a “turning point” to the season and get this thing rolling again or resort back to the lackluster? Like the surface of the moon to a U.S. astronaut, it remains to be seen.
A return to the glory days of April, when the STL box score had more runs than the pantyhose on that Collinsville whore you drug out of Stages on quarter draft night in 1993, is probably not in “the Cards”. However, scoring more in a game than those flopping fucking pansies kicking that ball around on ESPN-HOMO right now would be nice. How about that “Cards” pun, eh? Trying to get hired at the Post-Dispatch with that kind of wit and originality!
For one night anyway, David Freese and Jake Westbrook played a little “Coy & Vance” to Lynn and Beltran’s “Bo & Luke”, but consistency throughout the lineup is going to be a must. It’s no coincidence that this recent stretch of offensive ineptitude coincided with the leadoff hitter, Rafael Furcal, going 0-for 23 before snapping that skid tonight. .000 is great to see when you’re Carpe Douche Bag getting pulled over after an afternoon remote at the liquor store, but not in your stat line game after game as the table-setter for a professional baseball team.
The schedule is certainly favorable to get back on a nice run. The Kansas City Royals are the opponent for 6-of the next 9-games, and the Cardinals should beat on them like an overzealous neighborhood watchmen at a condo in Florida, with hopefully a more favorable outcome. Mix in an underachieving Detroit Tigers team and things could be on the upswing. Of course, Barack Obama “could” get another term and spend the next 4-years sending job creation, the economy and racial harmony soaring to record heights, but I ain’t jerking my fuckstick off waiting for that either.
This team, not unlike last year’s, has been up and down, unable to establish an identity and frustrating as hell. Between the incomparable injury situation, inconsistency in pitching and bipolar offensive output, much like a 10-piece jigsaw puzzle tossed into a daycare in House Springs, they just can’t seem to put the pieces together.
St. Louis is toiling along in 3rd place and the only time the Cincinnati Reds seem to lose anymore is when they lay down to sleep each night knowing that they play in fucking Ohio. The Pittsburgh Pirates are back on the downslide, the Brewers are struggling and Houston and Chicago may not even have teams anymore, I haven’t checked.
The Central Division is definitely not one of the premier ones in baseball, but I’m not going to bitch. Like the weeping, drunken bridesmaid at your buddy’s wedding, babbling incoherently through Jager-breath about never finding “the one”, you take advantage of what’s in front of you. And if it’s the horseshit teams of the NL-Central whose panties we’re tripping over on the way to the hotel bathroom with a piss hard-on when it’s all said and done, I’ll take it.
Off to hole up for Father’s Day weekend. Otherwise, it’s deal with non-postmarked cards in the mailbox and Thai children on the doorstep with a suitcase…KMFP-out!
Fans of KMFP – join me at the new “The Card Room with KMFP” Network on lockerdome.com, a social network for the sports fanatic, with team & player pages, including David Freese.
You can use your current Facebook account to create your FREE profile.
It’s a place to stay up-to-date with my latest and greatest articles, but also for you, as sports fans in general, to share all of your photos, videos, articles, etc. about anything sports-related.
FOLLOW ME on Twitter @theKMFP