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Hello St. Louis. Hope you're enjoying this beautiful Tuesday.  

LEVI COOLEY, REALLY?
If you're not familiar with Coolley, he's a Mizzou fan who flew on the basketball team plane to and from various games and tournaments who has been formally charged on counts of felony cocaine distribution. Most notably, he was on the same flight as the Tigers during this year's shortlived NCAA Tournament appearance.
From the AP:

In March, FBI agents arrested Coolley on felony cocaine distribution charges at the Missouri team hotel in Omaha, Neb., hours before the Tigers' most recent NCAA appearance, a second-round loss to Norfolk State. Missouri athletic officials said that an internal review found no improper influence by Coolley, who was on the team flights as a guest of Jay Lindner, a Columbia real estate developer and prominent Missouri donor.

You wonder if the Coolley arrest was a distraction to the team before they were upset by Norfolk State. You also wonder HOW THE HELL Mizzou aministrators, coaches, etc would allow a slimeball like this to associate with them. It's isn't as if the MU basketball program has been a beacon of solid citizenship over the last 15 years. Good Lord.  

OTHER THINGS
Only
6 arrests in the streets of L.A. following the Kings' Stanley Cup victory? You're losing your touch, Los Angeles. And here's an account of the scene at Staples Center.

Remember Don Bell? He used to do Cardinals postgame coverage on KPLR (when people like Scott Terry and Andy Van Slyke were alongside him). Anyway, you can find him anchoring on the Highlight Express on ESPN and he's also
the subject of a column on SI. Thought you should know.

Chase Daniel gets the
full column treatment from Foxsports.com for his efforts leading the Breese-less Saints.

Mexican cartel hiding
drug money in U.S. horse racing. Alright.

Fu*k that:
a $20 fine for cursing in public.

Also thought you should know that two women were arrested for
showing their breasts while playing golf at Woodland's Golf Course. #stayclassyAlton

Another woman arrested for
cooking meth in her purse at Wal Mart and trying to shoplift at the same time. #stayclassyMehlville

ESPN's Rick Reilly writes a story
that is 18 years out of date. That's impressive.

MY ATTEMPT AT WRITING 18 YEARS OUT OF DATE
Dear Sports Diary,

I can't believe how big a deal the media is making Mark Messier and the Rangers Stanley Cup victory over the Canucks. Uh hello: The Rangers are the #1 seed and Vancouver was a 7 seed that only notched 85 points during the season. According to Charley Steiner and Jack Edwards and everyone else at ESPN, the world now revolves around Mark Messier.

And how the heck are the Cardinals supposed to compete with Bob Tewskbury leading a staff that includes Vicente Palacios, Omar Olivares, Allen Watson and Rick Sutcliffe? Rick freaking Sutcliffe is like 80 years old!
This pitching staff sucks. And Joe Torre is a joke of a manager! 
 
Tweet @patrickimig (especially you, ESPN. you should be knocking on my door any second now).

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