Pat Imig posted on July 30, 2012 00:00
Happy Monday. We're halfway through the dog days of summer. To celebrate, let us now honor one of the most famous dogs in history, McGruff the Crime Dog.
Good dog.
CARDS TRIM MAGIC NUMBER TO 1753
Poor records in one run games and hitting poorly with runners in scoring position does not a division winner make (I've never been so happy MLB instituted a 2nd Wild Card). After mashing 5 home runs in a Friday win, the Birds dropped the remaining 2 games to the Cubbies by hitting .000 with runners in scoring position (0-for-13 in the 2 losses). Joe Kelly and Adam Wainwright need to grow out their hair and start wearing Lance Lynn's jersey when they take the mound. It's the only thing I can come up with that would give each pitcher some run support.
Said Matt Holliday: "You can't be playing well, come in here and lose to the Cubs. We can't lose this series. But we did. The only way to get better is to play better, and we didn't get the result we were looking for."
For the month of July, the Cardinals are hitting .228 with runners in scoring position; .292 without. The team is 16-29 in one or two run games.
MEANWHILE IN CINCINNATI
The Reds have won 10 straight without Joey Votto and are tied for the best record in baseball. One of the reasons for the recent surge is Ryan Ludwick. He's hitting .355 with a 1.136 OPS, 3 HR, 7 RBI and 7 Runs during the streak.
Things are going so well that longtime Reds broadcaster Marty Brennaman is going to shave his head.
"And this one belongs to the Reds! Cincinnati has won 10 in a row and I'm gonna shave my head absolutely bald," Brennaman exclaimed after Sunday's win.
"That's a good thing," Reds manager Dusty Baker said. "He's proud of his hair."
Could you imagine Mike Shannon shaving his head bald if the Cards won 10 in a row? Me neither. I could imagine him wearing a Hawaiian shirt while eating peel and eat shrimp at Fast Eddie's, however.
CHRIS LONG GETS NEW CONTRACT
And it makes sense no matter how many cents are involved -- the early word is that Long's extended contract is "huge". Long. Huge. Extend. Penis joke goes here.
Said Long: "It's huge for me. You like to know where you stand and I feel really good about obviously their commitment to me. When it turns around, I want to be a part of it. ... We're all super excited to be a part of something like this and we're going to be able to turn this thing around."
Said the head coach: "He's not the only one we're working on. We're just happy. He's had a great start to his career and we want to give him a chance to really settle in here and be one the mainstays on our defense."
Given Long's yearly progression from his rookie season in 2008 to the present, and the fact that he now has Jeff Fisher as his coach, Long should peak during the course of this contract -- good health withstanding.
Speaking of the Rams, Sports Illustrated's Jim Trotter had some thoughts yesterday following Day 1 of Training Camp. I'm all for sharing the positive vibes, but let's not get ahead of ourselves after one training camp session.
TOTAL BABE WINS GOLD MEDAL FOR AMERICA
And sets a world record too.

MISSOURI FINALLY GETS THE METH PUBLICITY IT DESERVES
From the Washington Missourian:
Franklin County’s drug task force is going Hollywood... sort of. A film crew from Off the Fence productions is scheduled to start filming next week for a proposed new reality television show, “Methbusters,” which will feature the operations of the Franklin County Narcotics Enforcement Unit as members investigate meth lab activities and arrest suspects.The crew will be in the county for 21 days of filming, according to Detective Sgt. Jason Grellner, head of the drug task force which was formed in 2005.
That's refreshing to know.
DANE COOK IS AN UNFUNNY PIECE OF GARBAGE
The spastic monkey couldn't help himself and decided to make a joke about theater shootings while people are watching the movie Dark Kinght Rises.
The above incident notwithstanding, I would like to kick Dane Cook in the head repeatedly until he bleeds and is rendered unconscious. That would be funnier than his routine. Johnny Carson and George Carlin must roll over a few times whenever Dane starts performing.
OTHER THINGS
Local Olympics update. [STL Sports Page]
St. Louis had the 12th highest rating for the opening night of the Olympics. [Sports Business Daily]
Nice teeth, doucebag. [Larry Brown Sports]
Prized Cards prospect Kolten Wong takes his shirt off and talks about his tattoos. [Punching Kitty]
Ugly people go skinnydipping in neighbor's pool while drunk ... at 11:30 AM. #stayclassyBelleville [KMOX]
Packers TE D.J. Williams bulked up in the offseason by wrestling cows. [Complex Magazine]
Jim Harbaugh's loud mouth will bite him when his team is no longer winning. But yes, he has a loud mouth. [ESPN]
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