Baby Bnub

[Bnub]

5lbs 11oz

[bill s preston esq]

HURR or him?

[Master Splinter]

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/TodaysSpecialCast.jpg

[Bnub]

HURR or him?

This was excellent.

Her.


Wife gave birth in 2 hours, no pain medicine, completely natural.

[Bmac]

congrats Bnub, MrsBnub and Bnublet

[Art Vandelay]

RIP Pappa Bnub.

[sandersa9]

How long until he's posting?

[Master Splinter]

I believe Bnub has said they were expecting a little lady.

[Chappy Sinclair]

Congrats!


Did you watch?

Did you faint/ get woozy??

[Hoofbite]

Congrats Bnub

http://positivepsychologynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/happy-dog.jpg

[Master Splinter]

Do you think 108 Stitches's dog came back as Bnub's baby?

[Tyler]

http://i713.photobucket.com/albums/ww134/FormulaTyler/lilnub.jpg
http://i713.photobucket.com/albums/ww134/FormulaTyler/lilnub2.jpg

[Lief]

Do you think 108 Stitches's dog came back as Bnub's baby?

Yes, yes I do

[Bmac]

are you at St John's?

the wife might be squirting a kid out there tonight or tomorrow

[Tyler]

We are expecting little Tyler the first week of July. Starting saving for the betrothal buddy

[Master Splinter]

I like the hospital time. It's the best couple days. You have a nursery to send that little bastard to. And people come and visit you. And bring you gifts. And there's a cafeteria. Nurses change the diapers. Then you can go home to an empty house and wack off. Then go back the next day and just relax again. It's like the best vacation possible.

[bill s preston esq]

This was excellent.

Her.


Wife gave birth in 2 hours, no pain medicine, completely natural.

wow...that's quick. congratulations!

[Bmac]

I like the hospital time. It's the best couple days. You have a nursery to send that little bastard to. And people come and visit you. And bring you gifts. And there's a cafeteria. Nurses change the diapers. Then you can go home to an empty house and wack off. Then go back the next day and just relax again. It's like the best vacation possible.

this is why I always root for a c-section. if so, she gets to stay an extra 3-4 days. Jackpot!!

[007]

this is why I always root for a c-section. if so, she gets to stay an extra 3-4 days. Jackpot!!

I hear scheduled c-sections are the best...can plan out a golf day around that one....

[Tyler]

this is why I always root for a c-section. if so, she gets to stay an extra 3-4 days. Jackpot!!

We are headed for a c-section, the kid is projected at 12 plus pounds.

[Master Splinter]

this is why I always root for a c-section. if so, she gets to stay an extra 3-4 days. Jackpot!!

I hear scheduled c-sections are the best...can plan out a golf day around that one....

We had two C sections. The second was planned. It was awesome.

[mjonns]

We are headed for a c-section, the kid is projected at 12 plus pounds.
woah, gestational (sp?) diabetes, whats up? thats huge

[Master Splinter]

We are headed for a c-section, the kid is projected at 12 plus pounds.

Well, yeah...I think your wife has been pregnant for like 17 months.

[cards_252]

Did you tell the doctor to add a stitch?

-Board small dick dudes

[Bnub]

wow...that's quick. congratulations!

Started having strong contractions at 9am, 6 mins apart. Was at the hospital at 9:55. Baby born at 11:07.

[bill s preston esq]

Did you tell the doctor to add a stitch?

-Board small dick dudes

did you tell the dr to kill her?

-brad_lee

[Master Splinter]

Started having strong contractions at 9am, 6 mins apart. Was at the hospital at 9:55. Baby born at 11:07.

You waited 4 1/2 hours to tell us?

Fuck you, dude......Fuck you.

[Master Splinter]

did you tell the dr to kill her?

-brad_lee

Holy shit, that's funny.

[bill s preston esq]

Started having strong contractions at 9am, 6 mins apart. Was at the hospital at 9:55. Baby born at 11:07.

my greatest fear was my wife delivering on the ride there. both times, though, she was already in the hospital when they decided to induce (for the first) and deliver via c-section (the second).

[Belle]

this thread is making me laugh.

congrats bnub! that's a little baby. did she go early?

[Bmac]

my greatest fear was my wife delivering on the ride there. both times, though, she was already in the hospital when they decided to induce (for the first) and deliver via c-section (the second).

see, this isn't an option. I will drag her out of the car to deliver before I get baby goo on the seats.

[bill s preston esq]

Holy shit, that's funny.

i have to step it up because i want cheezy to hire me as a writer.

[TrampStamp]

Congrats, keep her away from creeps like me.

[Master Splinter]

Do you have any pics of the baby to post? Preferably one where she's exiting your wife's vagina?

[Bmac]

I can't wait to meet her.

-Unborn Bmac Jr

[bill s preston esq]

are you at St John's?

this is an important question.

get the pizza at the st john's cafeteria. if i worked in that area, i'd hit it up regularly.

[llg]

what did you name her?

[Uncle Jesse]

Congrats. I'm not sure I'll ever get around to having one. The whole newborn stuff scares the shit out of me. Maybe they can keep it until their first birthday.

[Spoon]

this is an important question.

get the pizza at the st john's cafeteria. if i worked in that area, i'd hit it up regularly.

I liked their chicken strips. Their burgers were really good too. Fries sucked though.

[Tyler]

woah, gestational (sp?) diabetes, whats up? thats huge

Well, yeah...I think your wife has been pregnant for like 17 months.

The kid has been above the "normal percentile" the entire pregnancy. Everything was still fine until the tek observed a few "brain bubbles" during a scheduled sonogram, she said quote "I wish we didn't have to tell you about this". Well they did, the result was two unscheduled sonograms and a month of worry. Three diabetes tests and a blood test later, everything is fine on the brain/DNA/diabetes front. The kid might have been in a growth spurt that is not normally observed because of the unscheduled sonogram or he might be a giant.

[Master Splinter]

I liked their chicken strips. Their burgers were really good too. Fries sucked though.

Chicken strips were great.

This hospital talk makes me want to have a baby......NO.....NO Splinter....Just visit Bnub and his baby, god damnit....You can still wack off when you get home...You'll just have to do it outside under the deck.

[bill s preston esq]

The kid has been above the "normal percentile" the entire pregnancy. Everything was still fine until the tek observed a few "brain bubbles" during a scheduled sonogram, she said quote "I wish we didn't have to tell you about this". Well they did, the result was two unscheduled sonograms and a month of worry. Three diabetes tests and a blood test later, everything is fine on the brain/DNA/diabetes front. The kid might have been in a growth spurt that is not normally observed because of the unscheduled sonogram or he might be a giant.

RIP to your wife's vagina. literally and figuratively.

[Bmac]

I liked their chicken strips. Their burgers were really good too. Fries sucked though.

their chicken strips are the best thing going there

[Art Vandelay]

what did you name her?

lil bnub Jr

[Belle]

Chicken strips were great.

This hospital talk makes me want to have a baby......NO.....NO Splinter....Just visit Bnub and his baby, god damnit....You can still wack off when you get home...You'll just have to do it outside under the deck.

HA!

[bill s preston esq]

pizza, damn it! get the pizza.

[Master Splinter]

The kid has been above the "normal percentile" the entire pregnancy. Everything was still fine until the tek observed a few "brain bubbles" during a scheduled sonogram, she said quote "I wish we didn't have to tell you about this". Well they did, the result was two unscheduled sonograms and a month of worry. Three diabetes tests and a blood test later, everything is fine on the brain/DNA/diabetes front. The kid might have been in a growth spurt that is not normally observed because of the unscheduled sonogram or he might be a giant.

Man, I hope he's a giant.

http://set2music.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/fingers_crossed.jpg

[TrampStamp]

their chicken strips are the best thing going there
Take the afterbirth to the cafe and have them fry that shit up. It is yummy in the tummy.

http://gallery.hd.org/_exhibits/medicine/_more2005/_more12/placenta-human-after-birth-4-DHD.jpg

[Spoon]

their chicken strips are the best thing going there

Too bad they had those shitty ass fries.

Bnub....have your wife order the salad that has the fruit in it with strawberry dressing and let you eat it. It'll make you call the nursery to bring your baby in so you can slap her... it's so good.

[Master Splinter]

Take the afterbirth to the cafe and have them fry that shit up. It is yummy in the tummy.

http://gallery.hd.org/_exhibits/medicine/_more2005/_more12/placenta-human-after-birth-4-DHD.jpg

Fail

[Belle]

The kid has been above the "normal percentile" the entire pregnancy. Everything was still fine until the tek observed a few "brain bubbles" during a scheduled sonogram

tek was there? weird.

[Tyler]

RIP to your wife's vagina. literally and figuratively.

There is a point where they will schedule a C-section, we are hoping for that...not the ole "give it a shot" then we'll decide.

[TrampStamp]

http://www.the-breastfeeding-secrets.com/images/breastfeeding-after-birth.jpg

[Hoofbite]

tek was there? weird.

I wouldn't let that degenerate around your child

[mjonns]

There is a point where they will schedule a C-section, we are hoping for that...not the ole "give it a shot" then we'll decide.
hot dog meet hallway

[Cheezy E]

Congrats, Bnub!

[bill s preston esq]

I wouldn't let that degenerate around your child

me either. that dude will teach your kid how to fish, drink and smoke the devil's weed.

[Master Splinter]

http://www.the-breastfeeding-secrets.com/images/breastfeeding-after-birth.jpg

Lady Beercats!

[Spoon]

please quit quoting that worthless fuck

[TrampStamp]

please quit quoting that worthless fuck
This ****

[Cheezy E]

OMG, I hope Tyler's baby is a giant. That would be so neat.

[TrampStamp]

please quit quoting that worthless fuck, I wanna fuck a grandma

**

[llg]

please quit quoting that worthless fuck

seriously, shit

[Belle]

OMG, I hope Tyler's baby is a giant. That would be so neat.

direct us to this giant baby, please. are the parents midgets?

-TLC execs

[Cheezy E]

Chicken strips were great.

This hospital talk makes me want to have a baby......NO.....NO Splinter....Just visit Bnub and his baby, god damnit....You can still wack off when you get home...You'll just have to do it outside under the deck.

This is so cute. You SHOULD have another baby!

[stl_constitutionalist]

congrats bnub!! I wouldnt recommend letting her fall in love with your techno music, dont want that girl in all night ragers when she is 14.

[Tyler]

Man, I hope he's a giant.

http://set2music.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/fingers_crossed.jpg

OMG, I hope Tyler's baby is a giant. That would be so neat.

This seems kinds mean spirited

[Master Splinter]

Awwww...little Tyler....

http://www.photoshoppix.com/modules/coppermine/albums/userpics/10008/giant_baby.jpg

[Cheezy E]

This seems kinds mean spirited

It's not like he's retarded. He's just bigger than everyone else. You should be excited, he's probably got a great chance of going to the NBA. We will love him no matter what.

[Master Splinter]

It's not like he's retarded. He's just bigger than everyone else. You should be excited, he's probably got a great chance of going to the NBA. We will love him no matter what.

We love him! Now, it's time to take him home!

http://www.wunderkabinett.co.uk/gallery/albums/userpics/10003/giant_baby_450.jpg

[Spoon]

12 lbs is almost as big as my 4month old. she's 13.4.


you guys are dicks

[Cheezy E]

We love him! Now, it's time to take him home!

http://www.wunderkabinett.co.uk/gallery/albums/userpics/10003/giant_baby_450.jpg

Stop being creepy.

[Bryan]

Congrats BNubs...you're now lower than, well everything, in order of importance.

[TrampStamp]

We love him! Now, it's time to take him home!

http://www.wunderkabinett.co.uk/gallery/albums/userpics/10003/giant_baby_450.jpg
How is this shit allowed here. MODERATORS???????

[Master Splinter]

http://scienceblogs.com/bioephemera/Mueckbaby.jpg

[Tyler]

I don't like this

[llg]

well, thanks to splinter, we'll cya later tread!

[Cheezy E]

I don't like this

Your baby will be fine. A big, healthy boy. Don't mind Splinter, he's a total creep. His other username is Trampstamp.

[Master Splinter]

I don't like this

Don't like what?

well, thanks to splinter, we'll cya later tread!

Because of some baby pics? That seems unnecessary.

[TrampStamp]

well, thanks to splinter, we'll cya later tread!
This
Funny if I post what he post, I am called a mother fucker douchebag and everyone cries for the mods. Splinter you really are a piece of shit. I wouldn't even go that far.

[Bmac]

Congrats BNubs...you're now lower than, well everything, in order of importance.

this is one of the things I love about have a kid. When you go over to see family now. You just walk in and go find a spot on the couch and it's like you're not there. No one bothers you with stupid questions, asking how things are. They are too concerned with the little man.

[RolandC]

Not sure where this thread is at now....but grats Bnub!

[Master Splinter]

By the way Tyler, I'm guessing that guy comes sooner than July.

[Tyler]

By the way Tyler, I'm guessing that guy comes sooner than July.

He might, again we had an unscheduled ultrasound, anyway as long as he is healthy and has a giant Johnson.

congrats Bnub...might want to get her into gymnastics at an early age

[Master Splinter]

He might, again we had an unscheduled ultrasound, anyway as long as he is healthy and has a giant Johnson.

congrats Bnub...might want to get her into gymnastics at an early age

I bet that dude will have a huge dong.

[Master Splinter]

He might, again we had an unscheduled ultrasound, anyway as long as he is healthy and has a giant Johnson.

congrats Bnub...might want to get her into gymnastics at an early age

Whoa...just caught this....what a pervert.

[Bnub]

this thread is making me laugh.

congrats bnub! that's a little baby. did she go early?

1 week. Original date was June 4th

what did you name her?

Luluabellefranjensen

Too bad they had those shitty ass fries.

Bnub....have your wife order the salad that has the fruit in it with strawberry dressing and let you eat it. It'll make you call the nursery to bring your baby in so you can slap her... it's so good.

This was so funny I threw my laptop in the crib, wheeled it out to the nurses station, called a code red so half the hospital staff came running to the crib, opened the laptop to show them then post, then while they were distracted I shook up a keg and sprayed it in their face.


Congrats, Bnub!

Thank ya


We love him! Now, it's time to take him home!

http://www.wunderkabinett.co.uk/gallery/albums/userpics/10003/giant_baby_450.jpg

Creepy.

Congrats BNubs...you're now lower than, well everything, in order of importance.

I'm ok with this, really.


http://scienceblogs.com/bioephemera/Mueckbaby.jpg

Really creepy.

He might, again we had an unscheduled ultrasound, anyway as long as he is healthy and has a giant Johnson.

congrats Bnub...might want to get her into gymnastics at an early age

She's definitely going to be petite sized. 2028 olympics here we come!

[Tyler]

Whoa...just caught this....what a pervert.

Just planning ahead, yesterday I started an account for the dude and this morning I found myself looking at my car thinking my son may someday drive it...then I got a hold of reality, I don't think my 2001 will make it. But you never know, if he's a giant I could get Flatcards to cut out the roof, put foot pedals in the wells and turn it into a tike mobile.

[BigAlCardsFan]

Congrats, BNub!

[wiggly]

Congrats Bnub! Go ahead and post a picture, but maybe Bnub one of her arms off first.

[Master Splinter]

Watch out for baby Michael Jackson!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_zqFoq3qej2c/SkfF6oXzlEI/AAAAAAAA5co/r7ry3NWMAIg/s400/Picture+36.png

[Bryan]

this is one of the things I love about have a kid. When you go over to see family now. You just walk in and go find a spot on the couch and it's like you're not there. No one bothers you with stupid questions, asking how things are. They are too concerned with the little man.


I'm ok with this, really.




No doubt about it. It's not a bad thing to have less attention paid to yourself. AND, kids are the best excuse, to get you in or out of a lot of things.

[Cheezy E]

Watch out for baby Michael Jackson!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_zqFoq3qej2c/SkfF6oXzlEI/AAAAAAAA5co/r7ry3NWMAIg/s400/Picture+36.png

Your next baby is going to have a tail.

[Master Splinter]

Circumcision is going well!!

http://www.davepye.com/uploaded_images/baby-sculpture-709298.jpg

[Master Splinter]

Your next baby is going to have a tail.

It almost feels like they should. I still think they're cute.

http://dailycontributor.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/human-dog-hybrid.jpg

[Cheezy E]

It almost feels like they should. I still think they're cute.


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_u3--I1q8j8Y/SdVct7dTXVI/AAAAAAAAKoA/rDupdlaoFIU/s400/abc.jpg

[Master Splinter]

http://www.classicalvalues.com/GirlDogHoax.jpg

[Master Splinter]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_u3--I1q8j8Y/SdVct7dTXVI/AAAAAAAAKoA/rDupdlaoFIU/s400/abc.jpg

Oh god!!! I would slice that shit off immediately!

[Cheezy E]

Oh god!!! I would slice that shit off immediately!

Would you save it, to show them when they were older?

[Master Splinter]

Would you save it, to show them when they were older?

I'd make it into a fountain pen, and use it in my office....occassionally I'd catch myself chewing on the end of it, and I'd throw up.

[Cheezy E]

I'd make it into a fountain pen, and use it in my office....occassionally I'd catch myself chewing on the end of it, and I'd throw up.

What happens on his 18th birthday when you present him with the tail pen and tell him the story, and he's totally pissed that you lanced it off? Would you feel bad about not leaving the decision to him?

[Master Splinter]

What happens on his 18th birthday when you present him with the tail pen and tell him the story, and he's totally pissed that you lanced it off? Would you feel bad about not leaving the decision to him?

My wife will have thrown it away by then. That pen will be one of those things that I sneak up and stick in her ear, mouth or nose while she's sleeping. She's constantly waking up and saying...."What was that?....WHAT WAS THAT!!? Was that his tail? Fuck Splinter....That better not have been that god damn tail!!"

[Cheezy E]

My wife will have thrown it away by then. That pen will be one of those things that I sneak up and stick in her ear, mouth or nose while she's sleeping. She's constantly waking up and saying...."What was that?....WHAT WAS THAT!!? Was that his tail? Fuck Splinter....That better not have been that god damn tail!!"

That's so awesome. You could put it next to her dinner plate where her fork is supposed to be, or in her tampon box. Just to fuck with her. Put it down your pants and tell her there's something down there for her, and when she reaches down to handle your penis, it will be her son's amputated tail instead.

[onthetrail]

Congrats to the Bnubs. So, is there going to be a baby shower? I don't recall seeing one posted on the board. Perhaps my invite fell down between the seats of the car?

Oh, and it's very fitting that you are the papa of a little girl. I giggled.

[Wad]

Better put some pablum on the smoker. Congrats...

[The Todd Bridges Army]

Where's the Pepper?
-TBA
--Flappy

[rutkap]

speaking of babies, looks like my friend Elle just had her first child...

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4033/4640455990_0b3795ea86_m.jpg

[Master Splinter]

speaking of babies, looks like my friend Elle just had her first child...

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4033/4640455990_0b3795ea86_m.jpg

oohhhhhhh kaaaaaaayyyy.

[cards_252]

speaking of babies, looks like my friend Elle just had her first child...

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4033/4640455990_0b3795ea86_m.jpg

INteresting. INteresting indeed.

[KDub]

Congrats Bnub.

[Flappy McB]

Where's the Pepper?
-TBA
--FlappyAwesome

Congrats Sucker!

[beercats2000]

Congrats on the new nub!!


Hope you asked for some extra stitches.

-douchebags and hoosiers that still think it's a funny comment

[Bmac]

Did you tell the doctor to add a stitch?

-Board small dick dudes

Congrats on the new nub!!


Hope you asked for some extra stitches.

-douchebags and hoosiers that still think it's a funny comment

you two are just adorable

[Belle]

this thread is joyous, hilarious, creepy and disturbing all in one!

[budweiser]

this thread is joyous, hilarious, creepy and disturbing all in one!
Kind of like bnub himself.

Congratulations on the kid. They're super fun!

[Master Splinter]

Kind of like bnub himself.

Congratulations on the kid. They're super fun!

Not this morning they weren't. They were a nightmare.

[budweiser]

Not this morning they weren't. They were a nightmare.
Tell me about it. Last week of school sucks!

[Bmac]

My kid goes and takes a shit last night and I hear him say "Corn...Corn daddy, Corn in my poop"

It's important to note the milestones in your kids life. Recognizing how awesome corn poop is for the first time, is one of them.

Some people look forward to their kids first time walking, other look forward to their first day at school.

I myself can't wait till the day my kid comes running to me excited about the deuce he just shared with the plumbing world.

[dukeness]

Congrats, Bnub! Welcome to the joy of a daughter.

[Bmac]

Congrats, Bnub! Welcome to the joy of a daughter.

he needs to revisit this post in about 14 years

[Hoofbite]

My kid goes and takes a shit last night and I hear him say "Corn...Corn daddy, Corn in my poop"

It's important to note the milestones in your kids life. Recognizing how awesome corn poop is for the first time, is one of them.

Some people look forward to their kids first time walking, other look forward to their first day at school.

I myself can't wait till the day my kid comes running to me excited about the deuce he just shared with the plumbing world.

Evidently my nephew just starting telling his poop "bye bye turds" as they disappear down the shitter

[Master Splinter]

Bnub's kid is still having those poops that resemble tar, I bet.

[Tyler]

Bnub's kid is still having those poops that resemble tar, I bet.

What is this about?

[Chris_Reed]

he needs to revisit this post in about 14 years

I'm on it!

-Cards_CCLII

[Master Splinter]

What is this about?

The first couple days, the newborn's shit is like tar. Like black taffy coming out their ass.

[dukeness]

he needs to revisit this post in about 14 years

There was some sarcasm in my post.

[Tyler]

The first couple days, the newborn's shit is like tar. Like black taffy coming out their ass.

Interesting

[Flappy McB]

Interesting

Meconium

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

[Spoon]

Bnub's kid is still having those poops that resemble tar, I bet.

yeah, it tastes kind of sour too.

[blazedays]

What is this about?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

[blazedays]

Meconium

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

Damn you.