Hey, you gigantic fat slob of a prick who sat in my seat before the game...
...and acted like it was yours? I don't know where you and your equally massive girlfriend's real seats are, but rather than moving two seats down and sitting your huge asses next to me and stuffing your holes with dogs, nachos, giant colas, and whatever the fuck else they'd serve you...and then proceeding to lick your chubby fingers off or wipe them off on your shorts because you insisted on slathering a simple hot dog with 35 pounds worth of condiments and had the shit smeared all over your hands...I would have simply preferred you taking the cargo elevator up to wherever you should have been sitting. I won't even go into the fact that you couldn't contain your goddamn shit to your own seat...it's always awesome having an elbow digging into my side or dealing with your giant legs because you're incapable of closing the mother fuckers like any normal human being. One can only imagine what the two of you plan to do with today's stadium giveaway...a workout mat. You probably thought it was some sort of oversized fruit roll-up. Get on a treadmill or something.
Last edited by cramflang; 07-19-2009 at 04:47 PM..